Sigh~

Uhhh , da lama ta tulis blog . Haha . Nie pown mencuri masa sekejap . Rasanya ta lambat lagi nak wish Happy New Year and Happy Chinese New Year . So Gong xi gong xi . Unfortunately , this year ta berape nak happy because of assignment yang bergunung ganang banyaknya . I think this semester is going to kill me with those assignment . But kena siapkan jugakk . Kalau ta markah ta payah la kan . Senang cerita . Yahh , im lazy but i think the most lazy person is my friends . Haha . (Syhhh , keep it secret) . To compared between me and her , im quite okay dude . Haha . Im tired , really tired . Yaa laa , all of the assignment aku yang buat . Nak harapkan group ? Uhh , memang terkubur laa jawabnya . Jangan kata nak buat, nak sentuh pown belum tentu lagi taww . I don't mind , but at least share your opinion . Jangan harapkan aku sorang . Markah nak, buat ta nak . Lolx . Naik kematu burit aku menghadap lappy nie lelama . Nasib laa kau nie penyabar orangnya , kalau ta dengan kau kau sekali aku masukkan dalam presentation nie kang . Kbai . 

Truthfully , im tired .

Who knows . The more I try , the less its working . I try to avoid but yet the things keep going on happen . There's always a mistakes that I have made . Whats wrong with me ? Whats wrong with myself ? Dont I good enough to cherish your day ? I try my best & give the best but people keep going on find my mistake . What i have done ? Eventhough , your attitude break me to pieces , I forgive you . I dont even hate you my dear friend . Because its hard for me to find a friend or to be friendly but once I get . I really take a good care of it . Never cross in my mind to let it go easily or to make you as my enemy . Please , at least understand me . How many times I need to tell you . To be frank , I dont really mind actually but I dont want to ruin everything simply like that . Dont you take it seriously ? What ever it is you're still my friend . Dont you try to avoid the thing that you go through everyday . For me , its okay if you want to respect my relationship with him . But , why so sudden ? Slowly , you're running from us . I know whats wrong with you actually but I dont want to tell you the thing that will make others knw too . Its just between you & me . How you define your friendship ? I trust you . Dont simply break that trust because once you break , you'll feel useless when you try to gain it back . I dont even care what others talk about you . Because the thing is between them & you . Not you & me . I do appreciate my friendship but its just wasting my time because you doesnt show your appreciation at all . Its too expensive to tell the world how damn much you're really care about your friend . You might not see , the inner me , once you see dont you dare to ask why because there's no use to tell you . You'll regret it someday somehow because when I was there for you , you closed your eyes but when you open your eyes , I already disppear & I know that I doesnt important to you at all . So better , I walk away rather than think that you does not care about me . Sorry to says it out , but truthfully im tired already . Tired with all the poker face that appear on your face , tired with your fake attitude , tired to try to win your heart , tired to tell the world alone how wonderful is my friendship matter . 

Morningmare !

I should pronoun it as nightmare actually . But aku mimpi pagi so I pronoun it as morningmare . Not that bad actually but the most i scared is that . A lot of things happened to me for these few days . But all in all , i'm still here . Breathing like usual , talking like the normal Suzy , smiling and laughing to make my love one and friends happy with me , even though i'm hurting deep inside . I dont really mind at all for what i saw and for what they do behind me . Dont mind doesn't mean that u dont care at all . Its just sooner or later u will realize it . Without me by your side , u'll think further away .  I'll always here and there for u . I'll not mad for that kind of matter . Pengalaman mematangkan aku . I regret that i make u felt upset . I regret that i'm the one that always cried for one reason . I dont want to . But i just want to let u knw . Your pride , your dignity is my priority . I'm sorry for all the mistakes i have been to u . I dont want people talk bad about u because i knw who u're . They dont even knw our story . I knw she's your bestfriend , u knw her first rather than me , she knw evrything about u . But at least , she should show some respect dude ! What if i do the same ?? I love my friendship , even the things they do is hurting me , i will never talk about that infront of them . Let the flow go away . Like i have been said on my previous post " to forget something easily is a gift from God" . Yeahh , i knw that . U look at me that time , but still u ignore it and u just carry on with him . What kind of friend is that ?? I'm not mad . I swear , i dont even hate u . Because evryone that related to me is precious . Do respect me like how i respect u . Dont try to challenge me Because im not a fighter . I'm not scared , just i dont want to ruin evrything that i have been thru together . Thanx .